Whether you’re 7 or 70, or anywhere in between, there’s a good chance you have to deal with frustration of a regular basis. It might be due to waiting in line, getting a flat tire, dealing with bills, or someone not behaving the way you’d like.
And trust me, I see it regularly with my children. Whether because they don’t want to listen to us as parents or even because I need to support them when they are frustrated themselves!
Frustration occurs when life isn’t going the way we’d like.
Considering how little control we have over most of the things that frustrate us, it’s not surprising that we frequently feel frustrated.
Use this process to overcome your frustration:
1. See frustration with yourself as a positive sign. If you’re frustrated with yourself, it means that you believe you should be doing better. Be glad that you’re frustrated. If you weren’t frustrated at all, you’d be doomed to continue living your current life.
- Think about the things you’ve intentionally changed in your life. Odds are that you were frustrated before you were motivated to change.
2. Decide what you want to happen. Frustration is just a signal that things aren’t the way you want. There’s no reason to dwell on the frustration. Decide on how you would prefer things to be. What is the outcome or situation you prefer over the current situation?
3. Notice whether or not the frustrating event is under your control. Many of life’s irritations are outside our control. Learn methods to deal with these and focus your actions on what you can control.
- For example, if you’re frustrated because you’re stuck in a traffic jam, there’s not much you can do if you can’t fly. Take a few deep breaths and try to think about something funny or that makes you happy. Realise that this is just part of life. Relax your neck and shoulders and wait it out. For example, I use a great tool called HeartMath Inner Balance Breathing App to teach my clients the scientific benefits behind breathing.
- If you can control it, there’s no reason to be upset. What can you do to fix it?
4. Ensure your view of the situation is accurate. Be certain the situation is as it appears to be. Maybe you’re missing something. Maybe you misunderstood someone. How many assumptions are you making? Verify those assumptions before you upset yourself further.
5. List the possible solutions. What can you do to make the situation better and resolve your frustration? Consider all of your options and decide which is the most viable. See what you can do to end or minimise your frustration.
6. Put your solutions into action. Now you can start resolving the issue instead of just being annoyed by it. Make a plan and begin executing it.
- Just ensure that the solution isn’t more hassle than it’s worth. Sometimes we get carried away and spend too many resources on a solution. It might be easier to toughen up a little bit and just deal with feeling frustrated.
7. Look to the future. If this situation is something that’s likely to happen again, make a plan to prevent it from happening again.
- Ask yourself why the annoying situation happened and whether or not you can put preventative measures in place. It might be as simple as vowing to never go shopping again during rush hour.
Feeling frustrated? Life doesn’t always go exactly according to plan.
Find a solution to your frustration whenever possible and begin taking actions that will help to resolve the situation. Just starting those actions will help reduce your frustration.
If you can’t do anything to help resolve the situation, try to be as happy and relaxed as possible while you get through it. Find stress-relieving methods that work for you.
Remember: You may not be able to control the event, but you do have control over your frustration level!
When I coach my clients, I use a number of tools to understand what is behind those frustrations, how you can focus on the outcomes you wish to achieve and where you can go next. And it is even more critical when in period of transitions. If you want to discover yourself a bit more, feel free to get in touch and book yourself onto a free discovery call with me!